Monday, 30 November 2015

Why Laurens way?

We all like to think that we are always right? Yes!

Or is that just me...

I love thinking I am always right, and what a fight I have internally when trying to prove to myself that I am not, nor do I always need to be.

It should be about finding the best way forward, putting your pride aside but standing tall in your moral grounding... 

I often remind myself of Catherine Tate's character whose catch phrase is "I can do that". See the awkward video below:

Could I be that bad? I think yes. It comes at a high price - one that you cannot always pay and one that most definitely is not worth it. 

Basically my entire Blog is about UN-teaching myself that it is always Lauren's way and to learn to let things be, and let life play out the way it is meant to. Having self introspect can be one of the most valuable things that one can possess, being your best friend at times and your enemy at others... Your choice to make it one or the other or find a good balance between friend and foe.

I often find myself thinking:

"Did you just say that Lauren? 
Was that necessary?
Let them have their moment, it's not a competition... (or is it! ;-) ) 
Oh my word, shut up Lauren..
Okay now really, stop talking Lauren...
Can someone interrupt me?? Please??"

These thoughts always end in, "Next time, I will be quiet and think"

Don't even google talking to yourself or telling yourself to be quiet. It doesn't come up as self introspection but rather a mental illness.

I've got my game face on, bring it on world. 

Get off the nail!

As the year of 2015 draws to a close, I find that many things have changed this year, more than any other previous years.

I am going into a new year with the people that matter most, positive energy, feeling emotionally lighter and stronger and a determination that anything is possible.

I have preached the story told by Les Brown of a mans dog who cried as he lay on a nail but refused to move as below:


There was a young man walking down the street and happened to see a old man sitting on his porch. Next to the old man was his dog, who was whining and whimpering. The young man asked the old man “What’s wrong with your dog” The old man said “He’s laying on a nail”. The young man asked “Laying on a nail?, Well why doesn’t he get up?” The old man then replied “It’s not hurting bad enough.”
This story resonated for me as I was 'the dog' in this story. I didnt know it at the time but I slowly realised after 4 years that I was I was allowing myself to hurt and be hurt by others and myself. Making myself vulnerable to the point that I was self inflicting pain. I have come a long way from this unhealthy relationship that I once had with myself. I needed to change from my cycle of desperation to get out of my situation and get something better than what I had.. I lacked the inspiration needed for this and that is the shift I have had this year. I think we all lose this at some point in our lives, when we are wounded and broken and we fail to see the light at the end of the tunnel. 

The last 5 years have been full of ups and downs, however we got back up brushed ourselves off and kept at it.
I think we lost sight of what we were working towards, working aimlessly to make a salary and earn some money just to 'get by'. We had not been living and through this, lost ourselves in our  pit of hopelessness, merely surviving on many levels. 

What i have learnt is that you need to keep your eye on the ball, keep focused and put that effort into something worthwhile. Your career, relationships, friends, kids and most importantly - yourself. 

Fight for the relationships that matter and know when to let go of the ones that don't keep you true to who you are anymore, there is no guilt to carry with these. Take no prisoners! This is your journey and you chose who stays on-board of your ship!

Over and out.